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Denver Family Law Blog

The emotional impact of divorce on Colorado fathers

Divorce will have a significant financial impact on every member of the family, including the father. Men experience the same complex emotions as others do when they are facing life change, whether they expected it or not. In fact, many men are caught off guard by their spouses' decision to divorce, which is very difficult.

If you are a father, you may be looking ahead to the process of divorce with dread. What will happen to your relationship with your children? Will you be able to secure terms that allow you to have financial security in the future? When it comes to addressing these questions and others you may have, there is benefit in looking beyond how you are feeling in the moment and focusing on what will be best long-term.

Tips for bringing up the end of your marriage

Once you decide that you can't remain in your marriage, you will have to break the news to your spouse. This isn't going to be an easy conversation, but you can take steps to tone down the impact that it has on the nature of the divorce. You shouldn't ever bring up the divorce up in the heat of an argument. This is a conversation that is best handled when both parties are calm, and it should be done in private.

Make sure that you have your thoughts in order. Think about what you are going to say and how you will say it. There is a good chance that your future ex will have a strong reaction to this news. You need to decide ahead of time how you will handle this. Trying to remain calm during this can be beneficial since it might help to set the tone of the divorce.

Uncooperative co-parents can make things difficult

A successful co-parenting relationship requires both adults to work together throughout the process of rearing the children. While this might work for some people, it won't work for others if one party decides to stop cooperating with the other. This is problematic and can ruin the relationship. It also puts the children in a difficult spot.

If you are dealing with an ex who is suddenly uncooperative, it can be hard to figure out what to do. There are several things that you should remember. One of the most important is that you need to continue to focus on the kids. By keeping the focus on their well-being, you might find that the issues between you and your ex aren't as serious as you first believed.

When might I be able to seek a maintenance adjustment?

As part of your divorce decree, the court either awarded you or ordered you to pay spousal maintenance. Courts do not grant alimony in every divorce case, so your familial and financial circumstances played a major role in your order. Things have changed since the court issued the order, and now you are wondering if you can seek a maintenance adjustment. Thankfully, yes, the state of Colorado does allow for such post-decree modifications.

Who can seek an alimony adjustment? Why might the court consider granting it? Are these requests always approved?

Bullying doesn't have a place in a marriage

Many things can lead to the end of a relationship. One of these is having an abusive spouse. In some cases, there might not be any physical abuse. However, emotional abuse and bullying can be just as tough to endure. In fact, some people have said they would have preferred to be physically rather than mentally abused.

Because it isn't always evident when a spouse is being a bully, you should learn some of the signs of this behavior so that you can make an accurate determination about your relationship. One of the primary indicators is that your spouse is very controlling. They might use a variety of methods to do this, but think about how they react when you exert any measure of freedom. For example, are you worried that you will "get in trouble" if you go grab a taco on the way home from the library or gas station? If so, your spouse might be controlling.

Plan moves with kids carefully after divorce

Children often rebel against parents who are going through a divorce. This is a rough situation for the adults because they want to see their children happy. One of the biggest changes that might come in this situation is that someone must move out of the marital home. Helping the kids to adjust to this is going to be rather complex for many people.

If you are considering a move with the children, you need to determine where you will go. This might be across town or it could be across the country. If your move isn't local, you need to look at what the legalities are regarding removing your child from the jurisdiction of the court without their other parent's permission. You can't just move the kids without letting your ex's or the court's approval. Be sure that you take the appropriate legal steps so that you don't face any trouble in the future over the move.

Signs your marriage is breaking up

Divorce comes as a shock for some individuals. They might wonder what happened and why they ended up in this situation. For others, there were signals present that something was amiss. It is imperative that anyone who is still married review these signs so that they can watch for them. Even if you are divorced, you might realize that at least some of these were present in the marriage.

One huge sign that your marriage is ending is that one person has checked out emotionally from the relationship. This can manifest in a variety of ways, including feeling like you have fallen out of love or that you just don't like your spouse. This might spill over into your intimate relationship because you might not want any type of physical contact from your spouse.

These issues are often key factors when Colorado couples divorce

When you got married, you likely thought your future would always include your spouse. Other people get divorced, but you didn't think you would be one of them. Whether you're marriage has lasted just a few years or much longer, if there are problems that you feel you can't resolve, you may be one of many who files for divorce in a Colorado court this year.

There are several issues that often lead to divorce. You may relate to one or more of these problems. Perhaps your friend or co-worker recently got divorced, and his or her story sounded hauntingly familiar. It's not so much what the exact issues are that have caused your relationship to decline but whether you know how to build a strong support network to help you achieve your ultimate goals, whether such goals include rising above the bones of contention in your marriage or filing for divorce.

Misunderstanding might happen with child support payments

Child support payments aren't meant as a punishment for the parent who has to pay them. Instead, they are meant to help cover the expenses for the child. As you can imagine, this is important because rearing children is expensive. There isn't any good reason for one parent to have to shoulder the entire cost.

When you pay child support, you have to give the money to the other parent. They are the one that purchases the items the child needs, so don't assume that you are actually giving them free money. In fact, one thing that might cause a misunderstanding is that child support money can be co-mingled with other household funds. It is easy to misinterpret where the money is going because of this.

Plan carefully for child custody exchanges with your ex

Spending time with your children is probably the highlight of your day. When you are divorced and co-parenting, you might not get that chance daily, so making the most of the time you do have together quickly becomes a priority. It is important to remember that you don't always have to do special things with your children. Instead, it is fine to just have normal family time.

One way that you can help your child adjust to spending time with you is to ensure that the child custody exchange is calm and without any stressful elements. When you and your ex meet for the swap, you shouldn't discuss matters that are likely to start an argument.

If you need help, contact us as soon as possible.

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Law Offices of Rodger C. Daley

Law Offices of Rodger C. Daley
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