Many parents in Colorado and across the country have filed for divorce this year. Some of them are trying a unique family plan where both parents take turns living in the marital home with the children. Would you ever consider this type of child custody arrangement?
“Bird nesting” is the term commonly used to refer to this type of living arrangement following a divorce. If you and your former spouse want to cause the least amount of disruption in your children’s daily lives as possible throughout proceedings and following your divorce, this might be a viable option for you. Parents who have tried it say it helps kids maintain a sense of normalcy and routine, even when their overall family dynamics have changed.
How does bird nesting child custody work?
If you and your ex agree to try a bird nesting child custody arrangement following your divorce, there are a couple ways you could implement it. The following list provides basic information on the options:
- Both parents can take turns living in the marital home, either transferring custody every week, every month, several times per year or whatever terms both parents agree to uphold.
- The whole family can live in the house together with each parent having private quarters or a sectioned off “wing” of the home.
If you and your former spouse agree to continue living in the house together, it’s a good idea to set some boundaries and lay a few ground rules, such as knocking before entering a room or having separate bathrooms, as well as discussing what the format will be if one or the other parent brings home a date. Most parents choose the first option, where the children stay living in the home full time and the parents take turns living with them.
If you choose the first option, you’ll need a secondary residence
When you transfer custody to your ex, and it’s no longer your turn to live with your kids in the family home, you’ll need somewhere to live. To keep expenses down, you might consider renting a studio apartment or extended stay hotel room, rather than buying a house, especially if you’re still paying a mortgage on the family home.
Bird nesting child custody makes divorce less stressful for the kids
If you keep the family home, your children don’t have to move to a new neighborhood, go to a new school or shuffle all their belongings back and forth between two households. This is why many Colorado parents and others have opted to try a bird nesting child custody arrangement when they divorce.
If you’re considering this type of lifestyle, you might want to take a trial run and set a date for when you’ll make a final decision as to whether it’s a good fit for your family. You may need to negotiate a different agreement if it’s not working out as you’d hoped.