When you think of child custody, you might think of the transfer of the children between parents. There is so much more to these arrangements that you should think about if you are facing a divorce that involves children. The more detailed these orders, the better your children might fare because they will be able to count on consistency.
One of the things that you can set in the parenting agreement is a behavior clause. This sets specific standards for how you and your ex will interact with each other. It should be based on mutual respect and calm communication. It should also include something that forbids either parent from using the children as messengers.
You might also include terms for alerting each other to events that involve the kids. For example, when does a parent need to let the other one know that there is a school play coming up? What are the requirements for letting each other know about vacation dates and plans? Are there any notifications necessary for medical appointments?
Some parents choose to include mutual rules in the order. This sets up the common ground that the children will have between both homes. While this might not spell out what time bedtime is on school nights, it can provide information for how the bedtime will be chosen and that it must remain the same until a mutual agreement is made to change it.
We know that you might find it difficult to work this closely with your ex, but it is necessary to come up with agreements that can help your children. Keep the focus on them. We will help you with the rest.