Gwyneth Paltrow recently stated that she and her husband Chris Martin were going through a “conscious uncoupling.” For those not familiar with this latest divorce buzzword, the couple is getting divorced. But, what exactly is “conscious uncoupling” and is it something you can use in your divorce?

According to one relationship expert, conscious uncoupling is a “mindful divorce.” It focuses on separating with the “least amount of emotional damage possible, ” in Paltrow’s words. Divorce is draining on all fronts, emotionally, mentally and financially. Friends and family may provide support and advice (wanted or unwanted), or they may fade away as your marriage has.

Conscious uncoupling is a means to divorce that doesn’t include all the acrimony. It is meant to focus on the fact that you were in a relationship — in love. Even though that may not be the case now, and your relationship didn’t turn out exactly as you had planned, you can still move forward with the least amount of emotional, spiritual and financial damage possible.

It’s doing what’s best for your kids, but also what is best for your future. Instead of giving into feelings of fear or anger, you focus on consciously uncoupling from your spouse without all the fighting. It’s best if both spouses want to have a mindful divorce but that is not always possible.

Conscious uncoupling is much the same as collaborative divorce. In that type of divorce, both spouses work together to come to agreements on child custody, property division and other matters. It’s not a divorce that is left to the court to determine every major and minor detail. It’s understanding that your relationship is over, and now it’s time to do what’s best for you and your children.

Conscious uncoupling isn’t for everyone. For some, an aggressive attorney is needed to fight for what is deserved or wanted as many couples, despite good intentions, don’t always find parity of footing on such issues. Court battles may be the only avenue through which to gain custody, child support, alimony or a fair share of marital assets. In these cases, an experienced Colorado family law attorney can be a valuable ally.

Source: Huffington Post, “Conscious Uncoupling” Tammy Nelson, Mar. 27, 2014