When you are going through a divorce, you’re likely to receive a lot of advice from well-meaning friends and family. It’s not that they are trying to hurt you — most have only the best intentions – but there is a lot of advice that can cause you more problems than you had in the first place.
Here’s an example: “Make sure you take your ex for every penny you can, including alimony, child support, the house and even the family dog.” While this may be what you feel you would like to do, you have to ask if it’s even realistic. Today, there are two types of marital asset division during a divorce, depending on which state you live in. Community property states allow for an equal split of what is earned or acquired during a marriage. There are nine states with this type of asset division. Equitable distribution states are somewhat different. The goal is simply a fair division of property, which may or may not result in a 50/50 split.
You’ll likely hear stories of everyone else’s divorces – the good, the bad and the ugly. Even those who are in a rocky marriage may offer advice. Despite their best intentions, listen cautiously. Don’t simply depend on the advice of friends and family. Instead, listen to your attorney. He or she can offer sound divorce advice in matters of property division, child support and custody and alimony.
However, acknowledge your loved ones’ advice with a thank you and a smile unless you simply don’t want their sentiments, stories or support. You may have to be quite forceful in order to make unwanted advice stop – even distancing yourself from those whose advice is simply hurting you.
A divorce is a time when you need support. People you know and love can provide that – without offering advice that may not help.
Source: huffingtonpost.com, “How To deal With Unwanted Divorce Advice” Bob Tomes & Jane Warren, Nov. 02, 2013