The news of the divorce will be really difficult for your children, but seeing one of their parents moving out of the house is going to be exceptionally painful, as well. Whichever role you will take – whether you are staying or going – you are going to worry about how this move will affect your kids. You probably know several families that have gone through monumental step, but when it’s your own children, it’s completely different.
There are several things you can do to help ease the stress, strain and pain during this transition. Preparing your kids is very important. They don’t need to be surprised, so give them a date of when the move will happen, especially if it involves the kids moving to a new home, a new school, etc. It’s best not to involve them in the search for a new home, because this can make them feel scared or that they have to make a grown-up decision.
If you are moving out of the family home, let your kids know if you will be taking items they will notice immediately. If possible, work with your soon-to-be to rearrange the remaining items so that the house doesn’t look like it’s missing so many things. However, you do want to take things like family pictures, a few of the children’s toys and other familiar items so the children feel comfortable when they are there. Try to make sure your new space has at least the basics, like a kitchen table and chairs, a couch, television, and beds.
Encourage your children to find new friends around your new home and still maintain their old friendships, if possible. Be compassionate, as your children will miss the other parent. Bad-mouthing your spouse to your children will help no one. Remember, this is not a contest and it is difficult on all parties involved. The more you can work together towards help your children cope with this difficult time, the better off everyone will be.
Determining child custody and visitation can also be difficult, but an experienced Colorado divorce attorney can help protect your interests. Your attorney can advise you on other family law matters, as well, such as property division, child support and spousal support.
Source: huffingtonpost.com, “When a Parent Moves Out: 13 Tips to Ease the Pain” Kate Scharff, Jul. 08, 2013