Divorce will have a significant financial impact on every member of the family, including the father. Men experience the same complex emotions as others do when they are facing life change, whether they expected it or not. In fact, many men are caught off guard by their spouses' decision to divorce, which is very difficult.
If you are a father, you may be looking ahead to the process of divorce with dread. What will happen to your relationship with your children? Will you be able to secure terms that allow you to have financial security in the future? When it comes to addressing these questions and others you may have, there is benefit in looking beyond how you are feeling in the moment and focusing on what will be best long-term.
The struggle of the process
Some fathers find themselves caught off guard by divorce. Statistics indicate that a significant number of women are the ones who file, which sometimes means that the husband may not know until the process is already underway. Whether this decision came as a complete surprise or you are in agreement about ending the marriage, it is still a complicated and emotionally challenging process. When asked, many fathers reported experiencing the following emotions:
- Some people feel relief after filing for divorce. The thought of a fresh start and an end to the conflict can be refreshing after an extended period of fighting and living separate lives.
- It's also natural to experience feelings of guilt. You may feel like your divorce is letting your kids down or that you failed in some way, but there is no shame in ending a marriage that is over.
- It's normal to also feel anger toward the situation or even toward your former spouse. It is important, however, not to allow this emotion to cause you to make decisions in an effort to get revenge.
There are many complex emotions associated with divorce, and these are only a few you may find yourself struggling with as you walk through this process. It's not easy, but there is great benefit in keeping your focus on what is in your best long-term interests and what will help your kids most. Doing this can keep you from making rash choices that will ultimately leave you with problems after the divorce is final.
How can you protect yourself and make sure that you are making smart choices during your divorce? One thing you may find useful is to speak with an experienced Colorado family law advocate regarding your options and the best way forward for you unique situation.