If the prospect of ending up in a court battle during your divorce stresses you out, you aren't alone. While going to court used to be the norm when it came to ending a marriage, these days, most people prefer working out a fair and equitable divorce settlement without going to court.
If you are among the group that doesn't believe the traditional and adversarial divorce path is for you, then you must come to one incredibly important decision from the beginning -- you won't let your emotions drive your proceedings.
How should you approach your divorce?
Of course, getting a divorce is an emotional experience. Regardless of the circumstances that led to it, you will feel some strong emotions ranging from a sense of loss to outright anger. If your goal is to keep those emotions from interfering with at least civil divorce settlement negotiations, the following tips could prove useful:
- Don't try to rush the process just to get through it. More than likely, you will not get what you need in order to have some financial security as you start your new life.
- Treat your divorce like a business transaction. Divorces are about dividing assets, making arrangements for the custody of the children, resolving support issues and documenting it all, which all require you to look at the situation from a more business-like perspective.
- Don't ignore the process. Many people simply refuse to deal with the situation, which only causes delays and other confrontations that could land you in court.
- Take advantage of legal, financial and other support you may need in order to reach the settlement you envision. Just because you decide to stay out of court does not mean that you should forgo obtaining the support you need in order to make the best decisions possible for your future.
No one expects you to completely ignore your emotions. Instead, you may find it more beneficial to deal with them outside of the negotiations for your settlement. Talk to a counselor, a friend or a family member to help you deal with the emotional fallout of your divorce. That way, when it comes time to sit down with your future former spouse, you can focus on what you need and not your disappointment, anger, resentment or sadness, among other things.