Even when both parties agree to an amicable divorce, the financial and emotional upheaval the separation causes can make it difficult to keep a divorce from becoming “messy.” Those who are successful in doing so are usually those who following these guidelines.
First, keep your anger in check. While it might seem almost unavoidable at times, don’t let your anger be visible to your soon-to-be ex-spouse. Instead, vent to your therapist, your best friend or your mother, but avoid letting your anger show when negotiating on the important things, such as child custody, child support, spousal support or property division. Getting angry usually only brings out anger in the other party and that only leads to complications.
Second, don’t be certain you would get more or less if your divorce case ended up in front of a judge. Always look at the big picture. For example, if there is an agreement that would give you more support, but less in assets, decide if that is what you really need or want? Consider the costs associated with a fight in court and determine if what you want is really worth the cost – financially and emotionally – if you don’t come out on top.
Third, be willing to compromise and to sacrifice. Nearly everyone feels like their ex ended up “winning” the divorce, but in most cases, no one really is a winner. Simply ending up with a fair settlement is often as good as it gets. If you are willing to compromise on some issues, it makes it easier to deal on the other issues you have a firmer stand on.
Finally, take advice from all those people who are trying to be helpful – but the decisions are ultimately up to you. Your divorce attorney knows the laws in Colorado and will provide you with the best advice on how to proceed. They are the ones with the experience and the knowledge. Trust them and rely on your friends and family to vent and for emotional support.
Source: huffingtonpost.com, “5 Steps to a Clean Divorce” Alison Heller, May. 31, 2013