Regardless of age, being a child of divorce can continue to affect you in your family life and other aspects of your own life as well. Colorado couples going through a divorce likely know that it will have a substantial impact on their children however, it is perhaps especially important to be understanding during times of familial tradition, such as the holidays. With the impending marathon that is Thanksgiving, let’s take a moment to look at what children of divorced families might be going through this year with their new household dynamics and custody situations.
One woman went through her own experiences recently in the media, explaining that even as an adult she felt compelled to be there for both parents; split her time, save room for her appetite to grow several hours after her first Thanksgiving meal. As for kids, it’s often expected that they will get over things and move onto the next exciting activity, but those expectations are sometimes founded in what their behavior may have been like prior to the split. Knowing your child is going through something similar to what you are going through, but that they may not be able to comprehend can help you to be more flexible during these high-pressure holiday times.
One good way to alleviate the stress and sometimes even guilt that your kids might have during days where they split their holiday celebrations is to work with your ex. Opening up the lines of communication between yourself and them as well as the family members that are going to be there can help with scheduling meals and activities far enough apart that the kids don’t have to strain themselves. Also, changing up the routine can help, too. Letting traditions morph into new ones is a good way to take off some of the pressure to have everything go smoothly.
Being mindful that even after the first few years these times can still be tough for your children – grown or younger – is a good thing for Colorado parents to practice. Working with an attorney could help to come up with a child custody plan that works best for the children. As magical as the holidays can be, we know it’s a time of difficulty as well and working together can help ease some of the pain for all involved.
Source: The Huffington Post, “Handling the holidays: For adults who grew up in divorced homes,” Tracy E. Clifford, Nov. 1, 2012